Link Catch-Up

Goodness knows how relevant these are now, but here we go:

– The UK does have loony right-wing militias;

– And real Fascists as well;

– My thanks to Arizona for giving all Americans a taste of how visitors to their country are treated;

– But at least Peter Watts has avoided any jail time;

– Of course I’m all in favor of boycotting the Diamondbacks, especially if that means that the Giants get to win all those games;

– Meanwhile Second Life appears to have opted for Socialism, allegedly confiscating lots of private property;

– I confess that when I heard that Amtrak was testing a beef-powered train I assumed it was drawn by oxen;

– Eugene Byrne asks people to hang out in a graveyard this weekend;

– Marjorie blogs last weekend’s Ninja gig in Camden;

– Mary Robinette Kowal builds an Elvis Garden Gnome;

And there may be more to come, but how can I possibly follow that?

Volcano Latest: No One Dead

The apocalyptic plume of volcanic ash is making its way slowly across the Atlantic to Britain. There’s no obvious sign of it here in Darkest Somerset, which is no more Dark than usual for this time of year (though it is still very cold). The news media people are all terribly excited, but thus far there have been no major disasters. What will happen in fandom if Amanda Palmer remains stranded in Iceland and is unable to play the EvelynEvelyn gigs in London is another matter.

Somerset Enters 19th Century

My friend Glenda Larke is in the UK at the moment. Today she had cause to drive through Somerset (very wisely not stopping along the way). During her journey she discovered evidence that Somerset is about to enter the 19th Century. Yes, we are going to get steam trains! Here’s proof.

Goodness only know how something that heavy will manage on the wooden trackways that connect the villages in the cider swamps, but doubtless the government has some cunning plan in mind.

Today’s the Day

Apologies for the lack of April Foolery here this year. It has a lot to do with my being up until 2:00am with Day Jobbery.

Other people have been doing a fine job of compiling hoax round-up posts (notably Andrew Wheeler), so I won’t do one here. I will say, however, that the funniest thing I have seen so far this year was a fearless expose of a hoax. If you want to see absolute proof that NASA faked the moon landings, go here. (Thanks MEG!)

Of course I should also add that we in the UK don’t really need April Fool jokes. Why bother with hoaxes, when we have The House of Lords instead.

Yet More Linkage

Because I have spent most of today on Day Jobbery.

– Joe Gordon reports on a BBC story about a supposed real-life Glasgow vampire that caused massive moral panic and led to censoring of comics.

– Justine Larbalestier has a tribute to the brilliant and sadly missed Alexander McQueen. (Go on, click through, just look at those fabulous dresses!)

– Space Ship Two has successfully completed its maiden flight. (And Virgin Galactic reports that they have sold over 330 tickets for flights.)

– And finally, a horrific tale of a mother of five from Durban whose life has been destroyed because prison authorities mistook her for a transsexual.

Anyone Live Near Farnham?

If you needed any proof that the world is a very small place, here it is. I’ve had email from someone in California asking me to drum up an audience for some Scottish comedians (well, one comedian with two hands) performing in Farnham. I speak, of course, of the Scottish Falsetto Sock Puppet Theatre (no, I’d never heard of them before either) who will be appearing at the Farnham Maltings on Feb. 25th. Apparently ticket sales have been really slow for this gig, but not for others on the tour. And you know, they really are very funny. Here (sadly unembedable) they are doing Star Wars.

Overlord Clarke’s Secret Weapon

At Clarkesworld we are subject to all sorts of attacks: computer viruses, spam plagues, zombie armies, alien space fleets, and of course evil overlords from parallel dimensions. It is essential that we have defense forces to counter such threats. Overlord Clarke has therefore been busy constructing a Secret Weapon with which to repel invaders. Unfortunately the weapon appears to have had something of a mind of its own, and I understand that some of them have escaped into the galaxy. If you happen to see any of them, do let us know. Or better still, send for your local friendly Time Lord.

Snow Dalek

More pictures here.

Triangles of the Gods

Other people have already linked to this, but Ben Goldacre’s snark is so magnificent that I can’t resist adding to the traffic.

That this pattern could occur simply because one site was on the way to the next was not considered. Mr Brooks has proven, he explains, that there were keen mathematicians here 5,000 years ago, millennia before the Greeks invented geometry: “Such is the mathematical precision, it is inconceivable that this work could have been carried out by the primitive indigenous culture we have always associated with such structures… all this suggests a culture existing in these islands in the past quite outside our expectation and experience today.” He does not rule out extraterrestrial help.

Glorious.

Guardian Encourages Racism

Dear me, surely this is the sort of thing we expect from the Daily Malice? But no, it is the Guardian Book Blog. They have a post up encouraging commenters to vent about how much they hate hobbits and elves.

Of course the headline might be the work of an over-enthusiastic sub-editor. Andrew Brown, the author of the piece, appears more interested in encouraging people to dump on the literary skills of Professor Tolkien.

Still, interesting that they didn’t mention dwarves, eh? And goodness only knows what it is the comments. I’m not going to look. There are way too many of them already.

Of course this also shows how easy it is to generate a successful blog post simply by asking readers to vent about something or someone that has been hugely successful.

You Know You are Living in the Future When…

… some guy pays $330,000 of real money for a virtual space station.

Mashable has the full story.

Why did the guy spend so much money? Well, the place in question is a giant virtual hunting lodge in which guys with laser rifles get to take down ferocious alien animals. I guess they’ll be paying a lot for the privilege.

It could be worse. At least it wasn’t a brothel.

Ten Years Ago

As I’m doing all of the seasonal nonsense I might as well go the whole hog. What was I doing this time ten years ago? Writing Emerald City, of course. Issue #52 was out in time for the Solstice, and included my own take on the Millennium, a tongue-in-cheek broadcast from Anglo Saxon Chronicle TV on the eve of the year 1000. Here it is again (safely under the cut for the benefit of those who value their sanity.)
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Seasonal Muzak

I have probably enthused here before about the wonderful selections of Christmas music put together by my friend Marc Gascoigne. Well, now that Marco is the Glorious Leader at Angry Robot he’s put together a special collection of science fiction-themed Christmas songs. There are, of course, some right stinkers around. As Marco says, “Santa & the Satellite is almost completely incomprehensible, but thankfully he has spared you that one. If this sort of thing amuses you, do click through and download the entire collection. But if a small amount of seasonal jollity is all you can stand here’s one of my personal favorites – the theme tune from Santa Conquers the Martians, “Hooray for Santy Claus.”

As we all know, there is no sanity clause, which reminds me that it is time for my annual recommendation of the very wonderful collections of Christmas tunes produced by the H.P. Lovecraft Historical Society. Christmas simply isn’t Christmas without such much loved old songs as “Great Old Ones are Coming to Town,” “It’s the Most Horrible Time of the Year,” “Have Yourself a Very Scary Solstice,” and “Away in a Madhouse.” I’ve linked to this before now, but just in case anyone out there is still resisting the inevitable triumph of the Great Old Ones, here’s the fabulous “It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Fish Men.”

And finally, a magnificent animation short with Cthulhu himself conducting a bunch of suspicious looking characters in a rendition of “The Carol of the Old Ones.”

You can gibber now.

Link Salad for Second Breakfast

Kevin and I are both very tired this morning. We have no idea why. However, breakfast and caffeine should fix that. In the meantime, in the great hobbit tradition of Second Breakfast, I offer up a big plate of link salad.