I, Punchbag

I have just put the program schedule for BristolCon up on the website. I think MEG and Roz have done a really creative job with it. We are small con (currently edging up to 100 members) and we wanted to stick with a single track of programming, but at the same time we have a huge number of great writers attending. So we have gone for a series of rapid-fire readings between each program item, and also a mass signing (after the style of World Fantasy). The latter has been cunningly scheduled at lunch time because it is something that most people don’t have to be at for the whole hour.

I have two program items. The first is interviewing Joe Abercrombie, which will be a pleasure. The other is a panel on writing fight scenes.

As you know, I don’t write fiction — at least I don’t write good fiction — so what am I doing on that panel? Well, I foolishly told our programming team that I’d be happy to do any panel they wanted. That particular panel has John Meaney and Juliet McKenna talking about their martial arts skills, and Joe talking about whacking people with swords. Colin Harvey has nobly volunteered to keep them all from whacking each other. And me…

So we have martial artists/authors John Meaney and Juliet McKenna on hand to guide you through the mechanics of writing fight scenes, and maybe, if you’re lucky, demonstrate some moves on our other unsuspecting panellists…

So, if you want to see John and Juliet using me as a punchbag, memberships are available here.

2 thoughts on “I, Punchbag

  1. I seem to recall that you are a non -violent and Gentle sort of Person Cheryl?

    Now, whilst I will never be all that fond of SPORTS that are Watched rather than Played I do seem to recall that Ice Hockey Referees have a particularly useful form of Armour that may be worthy of your attention .. though a form that is not without its flaws ….

    ” .. Referee killed by ice hockey puck
    Published: 31 Jan 10 10:12 CET | Double click on a word to get a translation
    Online: http://www.thelocal.se/24696/20100131/

    ” An ice-hockey referee died on Saturday when he was hit by a puck during a game. v” …

    In what is believed to be the first such incident in Sweden, the 62-year-old died shortly after the incident, which occurred during a junior game near Sollefteå in northern Sweden ….

    http://www.thelocal.se/24696/20100131/

    No -one has ever been killed during one of fanndoms Dafter Games, though people have been killed taking part in Fencing Competition ..

    ” .. During the 1982 World Championships in Rome, Smirnov was fencing Matthias Behr of West Germany. Behr’s blade broke during the action. The broken blade went through the mesh of Smirnov’s mask, through his eye orbit, and into his brain. Smirnov died nine days later. [1] ” ..

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vladimir_Viktorovich_Smirnov

    He didn’t, Technically, die during the competition .. so that’s all Right Eh ?

    Mind you I do recall a fellow con com member of Long Long Ago Cheerfully Bouncing Tigerishly into a a Con Com meeting and Declaring that he had ‘ Thought of a Way of making Arnold’s Royal Tournament .. field gun substituted with drunken Fan .. Game fairly SAFE ‘

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Field_gun_competition

    Everyone on the con com had wanted to DO my Game but, But ….but, doubts about Really /actually Drunken fans had prevailed … and so it was done at a Mexicon with the participants wearing overalls that had been stuffed with balloons with a penalty for burst balloons ..which was No FUN at all!

    All of which not- with -standing I am reasonably sure that your non combatant status WILL be respected Cheryl … and that you wont be maimed. Or at least not Maimed very much.

    I have had the dubious privilege of once, when Young, of having ‘ Run someone Through ‘ with a sword .. a foil whose blades terminating ‘button ‘ had broken off and had thus, through a freakish accident, stabbed my opponent right through his free ..non sword holding hand. It’s hard to say who was more surprised, Him or Me – or the school-master who was in charge of the class.

    You Will be Perfectly Safe though ..I am Sure/ Certain, Reasonably Sure .. for a given value of Reason …. You are Bound to be all right!

    This Con is heavily insured – Right ?

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