The latest episode of I Am Cait to screen in the UK was all about (ex-)wives. Kris Jenner put in an appearance, and awkward conversations were had.
Mostly what I want to say about this is that such issues are very personal matters between the two individuals involved, and no one should make judgements on the basis of how they would feel in such circumstances.
Having said that, Jen Richards was talking on Twitter last night about how we hear lots these days about women who say by their partners through transition, but next to nothing about men who do the same. That’s obviously partly because the media isn’t obsessed with trans men the way it is with trans women. But I suspect there’s also a lot of social expectation (and sometimes necessity) for women to stay in a marriage no matter what. And of course there is less social opprobrium attached to appearing to become lesbian than to appearing to become gay.
If you listen to the likes of Germaine Greer or Fay Weldon it is clear that they think transitioning is just another thing that very masculine men to to betray their wives. It is like having an affair, except with yourself. And if you look at the posters for The Danish Girl it is pretty obvious that it is going to be a film about a loving wife who is betrayed by her partner.
That, of course, is just another stereotype that is rarely accurate. I doubt that there are many trans women who are that callous, but equally no one is free of the charge of selfishness. Of course if you have got to the point of a choice between transition and suicide then you get called selfish no matter which course you choose.
Hopefully, in a generation or two’s time, trans people will be sufficiently socially accepted that we can all come out early on in life and all of this denial and betrayal will be a thing of the past.
On the bright side, the episode was filmed in New Orleans, a city that I love. It reminded me of a fabulous long weekend that Kevin and I spent there a few years ago, and some of the best meals of my life.
I can haz beignets nao?