Piers Morgan’s School For Gifted Pundits

On the margins of society there exists a little-known group known as cisgender people. Despite making up a mere 99% of the population, these unfortunates are continually subject to insults, discrimination, and to violent bullying on social media sites such as Twitter. One brave man has had enough, and is determined to fight back.

Professor Piers Morgan, a mild-mannered expert in media studies, has founded a secret school where he can take in especially gifted young pundits and train them to defend their fellow cisgenders. His pupils have extraordinary powers. Some have vast wealth; others have the backing of multi-national media conglomerates, huge fan bases, even their own television shows. It is rumoured that some have the backing of governments.

Together, these brave Cis-Men, as they are known, seek to fight back against the appalling persecution that they and their kind face on a daily basis. Although they are forced to operate in secret — even wearing masks that make them seem caring and compassionate — you can follow the activities of the Cis-Men if you know where to look. Just open any national newspaper, any day. The chances are you will find these brave freedom fighters at work.