This is primarily for the benefit of the UK SF&F community, and in particular someone I spoke to at Alt.Fiction, but the rest of you may find it interesting too.
As far as I am concerned, it is not OK to tell me that my trans identity is acceptable, because I happen to conform to your preconceived notions of what a “woman” is, and then denigrate and make fun of other trans people because they don’t conform to what you think is “normal”.
This is partly just sisterly solidarity. I know that the trans community is notoriously fractious, and some of them don’t approve of the way I live my life, but for my part I try to be understanding and accepting of people as they say they are. I hope most of them will do the same for me.
But it is also a very visceral reaction. If you call someone “not natural” or a “freak”, well you might not be directing those insults at me, but they are exactly the same insults that other people have levelled at me. Seeing someone else get bullied in exactly the same way I have been bullied is no fun, I can assure you. The fact that I am occasionally able to escape such taunts is no comfort.
This is probably a very good time to post my review of Elizabeth Bear’s Jacob’s Ladder trilogy. Here it is.