Making Movies

Hey girls, you know that thing where you have been asked to be interviewed for an educational film, so you get your hair done specially and you spend ages agonizing over what to wear and doing your make-up, and the two guys who are on with you rock up, look at you, and go, “oh, I just threw something on this morning…”

Of course I knew this was the way things were when I signed up for the woman gig. Also I enjoy the whole dressing up thing, so I’m not complaining. But I also know that when the film gets shown people watching it will glaze over the gay guy and the trans guy on it, but will go on endlessly about how unconvincing I look and how everyone can tell I’m “really a man”. Because that too is the way the world is.

Dysphoria. It is real because other people really do judge you.

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