I Am Cait – Episode 6

Well that was a lot better. The latest episode of I Am Cait to be screened in the UK spent most of its time allowing trans people (almost all trans women) to talk about their problems, and let Caitlyn sit back, listen and learn.

The main focus of the episode was dating, and the very real dangers that trans women face trying to find love. A side issue is the fact that Caitlyn is deeply reluctant to discuss anything personal, and the implication that this is because she is primarily attracted to women and fears this will make people see her as less of a woman. Jenny Boylan is doing her best, but I’m not sure this is something Caitlyn can do in the public glare.

There were two key things that stood out to me from the show. The first is that Candis, despite being drop-dead gorgeous, incredibly sexy and a famous actress, can’t get a boyfriend. The other was where a bunch of trans women were having dinner together and they all agreed that there was no point in even trying to date cis men, they should just stick to trans men.

Obviously it isn’t the case that no trans woman can find love with a cis man. Janet Mock is an obvious counter-example. So am I. But dating is really hard, and incredibly dangerous. The best you can hope for is to be continually rejected and insulted; violence and even murder are always a risk. However, I find the idea that we should stick to only dating trans men (or trans women if you prefer) very troubling. Not because there aren’t some lovely trans guys out there, there most definitely are, but because it is a tacit admission that we are not women, we are only trans women.

As ever, the stars of the show are the support cast. Jenny Boylan and Canis Cayne were great as always, and I am becoming very fond of Chandi who is an amazing person.